A moment of terror

There have been very few scary moments with Elliot so far.  This is one of them. 

(Hannah would request that I find a bit of wood to knock on at this moment, but I’m sitting on the stoop of our brownstone.)

I was changing Elliot’s diaper.  It was a particularly brutal buttsplosion, and he’d been lying on his back, causing the green goo to work its way not just onto his back but up between his shoulder blades.  This had given him great relief, and he was happy, feisty, twisting and turning as he lay there on his back. 

I had his two little ankles in my left hand, lifting his butt in the air while my right hand swabbed poop from just below his neck line.  Did I get it all?  It was so far up there that I couldn’t quite tell.  I lifted his ankles, which were already high in air, even farther. 

For a brief moment no body part but the back of his head was touching the table.  He was at roughly 75 degrees, not quite vertical but nearly.  

Suddenly he spasmed, arching every muscle in his back vigorously.  This did two things simultaneously:  His back went from straight to C-shaped, which meant that instead of occiput down he was now face down, with his body extending at a Cirque du Soleileanly grotesque angle.  (try this: take your head and put it as far back as you possibly can.   That’s the position he was in, except upside down, with his face pressed into the table.) 

The second thing that happened was I nearly lost my grip on his ankles.  

The strange body posture was one thing.  It looked horrifying, but was ultimately not harmful.  As long as he was dangling from my left hand, he was could twist and turn like a gymnast and be fine.  

But if, while in that strange contorted neck-vulnerable position, if my grip loosened due to his kicking, and if at that moment I suddenly let go of him, and all 20 pounds of his body crashed down on those few ounces of spinal cord---

I'll just go ahead and not finish that sentence. 

It was a momentary terror.  Elliot reverse-spasmed back into proper position, and I barely had time to freak out before it was all over.  

As I’ve said before, I’m sure this won’t be the last moment of terror.  But based on this experience, I’m reeeeeeally not looking foward to next time.