In All His Glory

Parks and Gardens

Elliot's First Haircut

We were going to cut Elliot's hair ourselves.  Well, maybe that was never Hannah's plan.  But it was my plan.  These aren't the kinds of things that are discussed openly in the West-Page household.  When it comes to Elliot's grooming, we communicate by verbal semaphore, usually in the form of oblique sarcastic comments.

Anyway.

My real plan had been not to cut his hair until he was 4.  But the combination of blond ringlets about his ears, combined with a near-complete absence of hair in the parietal area, made it clear that this was not feasible.

And then Groupon decided things for us by offering a great deal on haircuts at a kids shop in Brooklyn.  

So off we went to Carroll Gardens on a bright Saturday morning.  

They had barbershop chairs decorated like cars.  Which I thought was cool, but I don't think Elliot had a clue that he was sitting in a famous NYC yellow cab. 

There were more important things going on.  Like what is this weird cape they are putting on me?  And the tugging of the hair, what's up with that?

But eventually he started to relax and enjoy it.  Or maybe it was just the DVD they put on. 

Final product was highly satisfying.  Plus, he immediately looked about six months older.

May Day

Last week Hannah had a day off work.  It was May 1st, also known as May Day, also known as International Workers Day.  There was supposed to be a massive rally in New York, organized by Occupy Wall Street (although "organized" is a term the Occupy folks like to avoid)

I came home from work early so that we could go to the Brooklyn museum. Which, it turned out, was closed on Tuesdays.

So we went and got Elliot from daycare about 4pm, and the plan was to bring him to the site of the Occupy Wall Street march.  The schedule said the marchers would leave Union Square at 4pm, so I figured we would go straight to Zuccotti Park and have some quiet time there before the march arrived.

Problem was, they didn’t leave Union Square until 5pm.  When we got to Zuccotti Park it was dead quiet, just a few people waiting for the express bus, some cops hanging out with plastic cuffs strapped to their belts, big SUVs with higher-ups in suits listening to walkie-talkies.  There was a middle-aged lady wrapped in layers of brown jacket, with Ziploc bags of food which she fed to pigeons.  Elliot was drawn to her and her surrounding flock.  He jammed his hand into the center of the pigeon mob, while we stood back terrified that he was going to catch some strange bird virus that would kill him, us, and the rest of humanity. 

After Elliot had won the hearts of every cop in Zuccotti Park (I wish had a mini-sandwich board sign saying “I support Occupy Wall Street” to put on him), and had tried to eat several clods of dirt from the flowerbeds, we decided to move along. 

We were all getting hungry, and I figured if we moved North maybe we could intercept the march as it came down.  So we grabbed a few slices, liberally sprinkled with oregano, garlic powder, and hots, and headed to City Hall Park. 

Which, if you’ve never been, is truly a gorgeous park.

Here’s the park I eat lunch in when the weather is nice, Stuyvesant Square Park:

Looks nice, right?  Nice fountain, lush trees.  

But here’s City Hall Park, where Hannah gets to eat lunch:

So we toddled around there for a while.  You see that little mini-pool in the lower right corner of the photo?  Elliot wanted to go in there.  I told him he couldn’t and he didn’t like that.  We compromised on letting him lean his belly against the round stone and bend far enough over that he could splash his hand in filthy, coin-filled, pigeon-feces-strewn city water. 

Angel that he is, Elliot rooted through the filth and found a white flower petal floating in the water.  After he pinched it between his little fingers and tried to pass it to me, I suggested he give it to his mommy, which he thought was a genius idea.  Off he waddled, repeating “mama, mama, mama, mama” over and over as he toddled from the fountain back to the bench where she was sitting.  

Then he came back and hunted that pool, and the three others just like it, for more flower petals to give mommy.

We had to leave when the cops closed the park.  I asked why, and they said "the march might be coming this way."  

Oh, and we saw four cops approach a man carrying a Communist flag and tell him he had to leave the park. 

SGIM conference

I'm a finalist for an award at the Society of General Internal Medicine.  I need all the emotional support I can get before I give my presentation next week, so Hannah and Elliot are coming down.

Here's where we'll be staying:

Did I mention the conference is in Orlando?  Did I have to?

Cheerios

More eating.  I know, I know.  But his utensil skills, which had gone latent for a while, have come back with a vengeance.  Perhaps more important than the skills, actually, is the DESIRE to use utensils.  He regularly tries to grab the spoon or fork, even when it's longer than his arm.

For this next bit of footage, I am expecting a check in the mail from General Mills:

Photo Booth!

Feb 2011

Visit from my dad

If you could see the way this kid eats a banana.  With the pale yellow goo protruding from his mouth. With it pushing his lips forward.  With him trying to keep it all in, and barely succeeding.  And that look of perplexity on his face, mixed with a stubborn determination to choke it all down.  

If you could see that...you would laugh as hard as I did. 

Will and Elliot Dancing

We visited John and Amanda for a bagels'n'coffee hangout at their place last weekend.  Great times.  As usual, no photos or videos except of the kids.

Turns out Will is an incredible dancer.  Way more dedicated to the craft than Elliot.  True, he is a year older, so I should cut Elliot a break.

Will seems to be teaching Elliot some moves here:

Later Elliot got bored and decided to just lie down and eat a banana.  

The beautiful weimaraner is named Wally, for those unfortunate enough not to have met him. He also goes by Wallybean.   Or Bean. 

There were some gorgeous days last week, and Hannah and I took Elliot to the Brooklyn Museum after work / daycare (that's pretty much like work for Elliot).  They have this nice grassy lawn out front, with gentle arcs of stone interspersed like --- oh, screw metaphor, I’ll just show a picture. 

This nice thing about this place is that we can let him explore in any direction, knowing that if he falls there’s a 90% chance his head will hit grass.  Okay, 75%. 

But he’s actually a fairly cautious child.  He likes to walk holding one of our hands.  He’ll be toddling along, and when he reaches a curb he’s intimidated by, he’ll pause, look back, and raise an arm in the air.  This is our cue to step to his side (quickly, quickly!) and reach down and allow him to curl his five little mealworm fingers around one of our big sausage digits.

Today I we did all five stone strips on the lawn with him, in order from furthest to closest to the museum.  And each time he waited for me to step down from the stone to the lawn.  It became a little joke, me stepping first, and him following.  He looked up at me, blinking into the late evening sun, and did his little wink (which is really just a crinkle of the eyes), and then smiled and stepped off the stone himself.  

Each time he watched closely as I stepped down.  And each time he stepped with the same foot I did.  

Later, we watched a group of 10 young black girls practicing a step routine in front of the Brooklyn museum.  Elliot was fascinated.  He snapped to attention and stared fiercely at the hard percussions of their sneakers on the concrete.  He remained motionless until they finished the routine.  

When it was over, he looked at me, and made one of the sign language gestures we’ve taught him.  

It was the gesture for ‘more’. 

My new phone

Some of you know that my crappy burner dumbphone finally died.  Like really died --- I have none of your phone numbers, unless you are in that tiny magic circle where your number is still in my head.  And man, that circle is TINY.  Don't feel bad.

Anyway, I finally got a phone that has a camera it.

Be honest:  doesn't that still seem a little weird?  Phone with a camera in it?

But I'm not here to fight losing battles.

I'm here to try out my new cameraphone!  Phonecamera!

Whaddyall think?

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

He does this thing sometimes when he's eating a banana. 

(Oh, did I mention how much he loves bananas?  That, too, is brand new.  Today he ate two full bananas in the space of 20 minutes.)

We usually break off about a third of a banana to give to him.  He holds it in his little hand, and looks at it; he considers it.  And during that moment the banana becomes somehow fixed.  It cannot move.  He cannot lift it to his mouth.  Not because it’s too heavy; that’s just where the banana is, end of story.  

And so he dips his head, he cranes his neck, sometimes he even bends his knees, in an effort to bring his mouth low enough to bite the banana.  


He always, of course, succeeds in eating the banana. 

But as of yet he has not deduced whether it was the head, the neck, or the knees that got him his prize.  So he continues to gyrate when eating bananas standing up.

Photo Booth!

He's a climber

Brilliant photo, courtesy of Ed West. 

Happy Birthday Carole!

In her honor, a few greatest hits:

Easter 2012 Part II

We met Lauren and Bob and Audrey at the Astoria Bohemian Beer Garden.  Shocked, are you?  Well, let me assure you it's quite the family-friendly establishment.  At least on Sundays at 2pm it is.  

Elliot loved the Easter Bunny --- or was horrified by him.  All I know is that he stood staring at that giant fuzzy-suited dude for a long damn time, without smiling. 

So I picked him up in my arms, and gingerly approached that big bunny on two legs.  It was scary and weird.  He didn’t want to do it. He wanted to leave and go home.  But I insisted.  

We got closer.  That weird fixed bunny-smile, with those giant black bunny-eyes.  It’s creepy, I get it.  Elliot was still not smiling.  The bunny waved vigorously at him.  No response. . . Who was this goddamn thing?  

And then, genius: the bunny laid forth a horizontal palm.  This, Elliot knew what to do with that.  He broke into a huge smile and slapped that bunny five.  And the heavens broke open and Jesus wept and all the frustrated dreams of this sad world were redeemed.

Then we went back to play with Audrey some more. 

Later on the band started up.  They were three hipsters who played Beatles covers with an accordion, piano, and drums.

At least two people present loved them.