The Birth Part I

Not many children get an intricate, play by play description of their own birth.  Probably because not many want one.  But tough twizzlers, baby Elliot, here it comes: 

At 4:45am Hannah woke up.  She wasn't in labor, and again was disappointed.  She had to pee, so she got up and went to the bathroom.  She peed, and when she got up from the toilet she noticed there was still some leaking.  

Hannah came back to bed and said "I think my water just broke."  Cameron said "We should get some more rest.  That's what you're supposed to do in early labor."  Hannah said "I think we should call the midwife or Megan (our doula); that's what she told me to do."  Cameron called Megan, and when he told Megan that the fluid was yellow, she said to page the midwife immediately.  


The midwife, Sabine, called Cameron from in the middle of another woman's labor.  He could hear grunts in the background as they spoke.  Sabine told them to come to the hospital immediately to have the fluid examined.  Cameron called Megan back, and she asked to speak to Hannah.  Megan gave two options, and Hannah chose to have Megan come to the house so all three could travel to the hospital together.  

Megan arrived with her bag of tricks, which was a literal bag containing mostly cookies, breath mints, and bendy straws.  Since the midwife Sabine hadn't told the happy couple who they would meet in labor and delivery, they paged her again.  Sabine called them with just hint of annoyance in her voice.  She said that Hannah would be examined by the triage staff and she would come up if she could.  

A car service was called.  It was the service that had performed only adequately during the previous "fire drills" they had been pulled in anticipation of this event.  But this car service was based in Crown Heights rather than Park Slope, and Cameron wanted to give them his business.  The car was outside 5 minutes after the call was placed.  

Items brought to the hospital included the following: a large blue Ikea bag containing several pillows, an iPod dock with two 6-inch speakers, a partially deflated gray birthing ball, and an iPod.  Contained in a large LeSportsac were a green terry-cloth towel, two Cliff bars, a liter of Grape Gatorade, a box of Coconut water, electrolyte tablets, hospital paperwork, a swimsuit for Hannah and Cameron, a receiving blanket, a small onesie for the baby, and a change of clothes for Hannah and Cameron.  And a car seat.  (Let the record show that the soon-to-be-parents forgot to bring socks for their newborn.)

By 5:30 they were in the car.  Hannah sat in the back on the left side, Cameron in the back on the right, and Megan in the front passenger seat. The poor quality roads of the financial district made Hannah's contractions worse, and with each one the cabbie drove faster in a desperate attempt to avoid having a baby born in the back of his cab. Or perhaps he just despised cliche.